The Colour of Friendship
by secretlyAlphonse
Summary: Love somtimes gets politics. Love is sometimes not-so-loverly as the media portrays it to lovingly be. Love. co-written with konoha'sprophet.


I used to think that gay sex was an abomination…. But I was proven wrong _one mid-summer afternoon day._

It was a dark and sunny day when my letter arrived via majestic Bald Eagle (kind of like in Harry Potter except not and with a bald eagle). I tore it open with anticipation.

"_Santo-san, it would be for my gratest honour to possibru have you to be for my vide-president-kun. I considering you for to be in running and need to decide within soontimes. Meet me at 'The Watering Hole' at 19:00 sharp."_

  
From immediately I knew it was my special friend Mitt Romner-kun. Nobody else calls me Santo-san. One guy did once, but shortly after then he died "accidentally." I became excited in my man region but looked down at it and said, "Penis-san, not yet..." I fantasized in my brain about how for I would do as vice-persidnt and got hard again but then it went away after I rememorized that I wasn't the only one in considering! So then I put on my professionalest Republi-suit and strolled over to "The Watering Hole." I had concocted a plan.

I wonder why come they call a gay bar The Watering Hole. There wasn't any water any of the places I see. But this was the first part of my plan.

I sit in the backest lounge and wait for Mitt Romner-Kuns. As I do to waiting, the door opens. Sudden I am overwhurlrmed by the smell of sexual sexy-times. Penis-san becomes happy for to thinking it was Ronmre-sun, but it not! What I first thought was Santa Clause without a beard was actually Newt Gingrich-chan.

"Gringrichan-chan! For what reason are you here as well too?"

As he pulls out his Death note, he mutters, "I could also ask the same of you as well!"

"DON'T WRITE MY NAME DOWN! IT WOULD FOR DISHONOUR MY FAMILY!"

"Ok." and he puts his Death Note away.

"So anyway, why for are you here at present times?"

"A blad egle dropped a letter of note to me in my shack that sort of looks like Hagrid'-kun's house but more woody-like. It was from Mtit Romno-sun. He previously in the past asked for me becoming his possible vcie-president."

"¡Que? Me too! That is why I am here as well too! I was afraid for moment times that you were here for the gay sex services here."

"No! Of for course not! Those activites are abdominable and sacirligous! I hope you don't mind if I wait for Mutt-san here with you in together as to avoid the gay sex around us because my butthole hurts."

"but Newt-san, for why does your bumhole hurt so?" I say as I loveringly pat his shoulder.

Newtu starts crying and says, "Obama! It was Obama!"

"Oboe-sun? For why?"

"He fucked me in my assparts with his new taxes!"

"That dick!"

"I know! I hate taxes! More than Arabs!" said Nwet-kun laughingly.

At that moment, Penis-san detected that Newt and I had common things in common and became excite a little but not enough to kinda see it. Penis-san then prompted me for to keep talking with Netu-san about taxes and the like things of that nature.

"So Nwet-kan, how for would you as to lowering taxes if you becoming vicu-president?"  
"Wellm, the only logic thing to do with the welfair of the nation and country would be to cut all the taxes by at least 40%."

"!" at that moment I sweatted a little because I knew I was the becoming better candidate but I for had never thinking to lower taxes that much!¡ To be bluffing, I said to respond, "Well, I was thinking 50%!"

"Oh yeah? Well I'd be for to partiaL to lower them by 55!%"

Penis-san overheard our conversation and chuckled softly at our back-and-forthings.

"If I can convince him, I'd tell Ronmre-son to make them less by 60%¡"

"Oh yeah? Well how about for by 70%?"

"Well I was always for think 80%!"

"MAKE IT 90%!"

"100% WOULD BE BEST!"

All the forthwhile Penis-san was overlistening to us and perked up at the excite of having such low taxes because of how republican he is! "NO taxes as to at all? How nice it would be!" Penis-san said to Testi-kun. Pensu-san became more and increasinly hard at this notion-thought and eventually set off white fireworks without for having realize.

"Whh- what is that?" Newt-kan questioned.

"What as to are you talking of?" I inquired.

I flet a disturbance in my mansnake-crotchal region and looked down. I had for not felt the cumstains all cover my pantaloons.

Netu-kun smiled coyly glancing downwardly at my hot rod.

"Do not blush, Santo-san. You have nothingly be fearful of."

Newt-chan then scooted over at me, wlaked his Republi-fingers over the couch toward my white swamp, and grabbed hold of the golden totem.

"!"

"Shh, do not for being afraidful."

"But-butt it's an adominal-" Newu-san cut me off with his smoulderling gaze into my eyeballs. I stoped, he went back down to business.

For a second I was sad because I could have no internet acess to google fitting bible phrases against homosex! Telling them to Net-sun would have for surely convince him to stop his suckling on my treasure trove! But as times went forth I forgot about the bibbel and what I thot Jesuit would have to say about these matters!

"Newt-kuun! You have talented!"

"BLARGRGBGLARGH" he coyly responded, his mouthparts still fill with Penis-san.  
Penis-san enjoyed his tongue-bath and elated at the thorough-ness of Netu-sun.

I had for moments thinking about our previous speakings and remembered our talk about taxes. And lessering taxes. and low taxes. And how lowering we would make them. And when he suggested NO taxes-

"AAAAAAHHHHH! YOU'RE SO TALLLLLLENTEEEEDDDD!  
RRRRROOOOYYY MUSTAAAAAANGG!" and so forth with that I come.

I hear a door creaking openly.

"Um, hey guys."

"R-Romney-coon!" I splurted.

"Rrrrglblarghbler-san?" Newt spluttered mid-suckling.

"D-do not be minding of myself. I'll,,, leave you two alone times presently." he sheeperishly said.

"Bllarghblerghghgbrlr." and with that Net-kun kept surcklering on my Penis-san.

And with that, and for being in a gay bar-club, Everyone died by inhaling Santorum's raging AIDS into their lung-parts because he sort of doesn't believe in conerseption or anything similarly presently.

Looking down from Heaven, God-san chuckled with Jesu-kun at Santorum's good deed and they skipped off into the sunset.

The End(?)

"_I'd never wanted to do anything with a man before, because it is an abomination of God. But if I were to do something, I would want it to be with a man who was portly and grotesque… Like Newt." - Santo-san_


End file.
